It’s hard to believe that ten years ago, I was in the same place as you. Back then I was getting ready to step out into the world, about to graduate from one of the top colleges in America. I wanted to come to Britain because in my mind, it was the best place I could race towards my dreams of being an actor and a writer. I was 22, told everyday that I was going to change the world, and had no use for feminism. Having a disability, that was a problem, sure. But being a women- well I already had 51% of the world on my side.
To say ‘and then I grew up,’ would be misleading. As you will find, it takes a few years out of Univeristy to begin to figure out what the hell is going on in the world, and even longer to formulate an opinion on it. So as I speak up here tonight, please bare in mind that I still very much feel like I should still be over there next to you, wondering how much longer I can put off studying for that chem exam, and secretly hoping that if I sleep with the book under my pillow, osmosis will set in and I will be able to know all the answers without studying.
In preparing to meet you tonight, a friend of mine kept nagging me with the question ‘what do you want these young women to DO after hearing your talk?’ Which was a SLIGHTLY annoying question.
I know what I want to do up here, I want to empower you. I want to clear the way so you don’t have to deal with the same muck that I’ve had to deal with not because of a brain injury, but because of what’s in between my legs.
But what did I want you to do?
And then Vanity Fair hit the newsstands, with Emma Watson on the cover.
Now in case you don’t know, Emma Watson has received massive backlash against a certain photo featured in the issue. She is topless, but tastefully covered, draped in white, with distinctive curls and all of the make up you would expect from a vanity fair cover.
“Feminism is about giving women choice,” Watson says to the critics.
And I couldn’t agree more.
Feminism offers us a huge amount of power, it suggests we have a right to live in a world where each of us have the freedom to make the choices and the autonomy to live our lives to the fullest potential.
But with great power comes great responsibility, and that is what I want to tell you today. Power can only be realized through taking responsibility. Without that, we risk sliding back into victim hood.
Now, just to be clear what I’m not going to say is “it’s all your fault.” If you are the victim of violence, it is not your fault. If you are wearing a short skirt you are not asking to be raped. If you are drunk you are not asking to be violated. If you are kind you are not asking to be bullied.
In my mind, the definition of violence is the removal of CHOICE. Without choice you are a victim, and that’s a topic for another night all together.
My argument tonight is that all people need to be held responsible for their behavior: because they have the freedom of choice.
Very often, I forget about choice when we talk about feminism. About a year ago I was lucky enough to interview Prof Leslie Yellowlees former President of Royal Society of Chemistry. She said something that always managed to stick with me, “you can have it all but you still have to make choices.”
Choices is where the whole confusion lies.
In our world ‘having it all’ often implies there are no consequences, this simply isn’t the case. If you have a baby and have a career there are choices you are going to have to make.
There has to be, because otherwise your head will explode from the stress of doing it all yourself.
Until we have true gender equality, which sees mums and dads as equal care givers, and empowers both genders to make fair choices, the burden of choice will fall heavily on women. On me. On you. On your daughters.
Now in a way I’m aware that I’m preaching to the choir tonight. Remember, at your age I was convinced I wasn’t going to run into sexism. Not being able to walk up a flight of stairs or feed myself, that was a problem. Being a woman, half the world knew what that was like. Remember?
Looking at Emma Watson’s reaction towards the backlash, I can’t help but wonder if feminism has been tamed? Just listen to Watsons quote about the photo shoot.
“I’m confused. A lot of people are confused… it’s very confusing.”
“We were doing a lot of crazy things on that shoot.”
“They were saying I can’t be feminist and… have boobs.”
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